








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
802 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,217 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 383 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1168 | 53% |
| HE Grenades | 398 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 268 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $224,248 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vennevold | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | Ra1l3s | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | SomSom | 59% | 51 |
| #4 | ja | 57% | 51 |
| #5 | HOLCKER | 55% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SomSom | 5 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | ja | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | γπ
²πππ
π
Έγ | 3 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | HOLCKER | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Vennevold | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ja | 146 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | SomSom | 126 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ra1l3s | 67 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | HOLCKER | 56 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | γπ
²πππ
π
Έγ | 50 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SomSom | +5.36 | 78 | 62 |
| #2 | Ra1l3s | +1.62 | 42 | 68 |
| #3 | MJ | +0.58 | 75 | 47 |
| #4 | Nej | +0.57 | 67 | 51 |
| #5 | HOLCKER | +0.54 | 57 | 56 |





