








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2565 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,090 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1453 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1384 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1742 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1511 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $936,770 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vilde Rolf | 76% | 29 |
| #2 | Vennevold | 62% | 29 |
| #3 | β
| 56% | 25 |
| #4 | Nej | 55% | 67 |
| #5 | Teacherpil | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Teacherpil | 55% | 22 |
| #6 | SomSom | 53% | 53 |
| #7 | γπ
²πππ
π
Έγ | 50% | 199 |
| #8 | ja | 49% | 61 |
| #9 | Ra1l3s | 48% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | γπ
²πππ
π
Έγ | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | ja | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | SomSom | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Nej | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Vilde Rolf | 4 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | γπ
²πππ
π
Έγ | 518 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | ja | 165 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | SomSom | 134 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Nej | 112 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ra1l3s | 85 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SomSom | +3.66 | 73 | 63 |
| #2 | γπ
²πππ
π
Έγ | +0.94 | 58 | 66 |
| #3 | Nej | +0.63 | 65 | 51 |
| #4 | Vilde Rolf | +0.60 | 41 | 34 |
| #5 | HOLCKER | +0.50 | 59 | 54 |





