








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1541 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 585 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 98 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4995 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,913 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10687 | 28% |
| Smokes | 9432 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 11286 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 6508 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,736,352 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2957 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | August | 48% | 80 |
| #2 | ᵈᵒⁿᵗ ᶜʳʸ ᵇᵃᵇʸ | 44% | 165 |
| #3 | Martin Burger King | 32% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | August | 48% | 80 |
| #2 | ᵈᵒⁿᵗ ᶜʳʸ ᵇᵃᵇʸ | 44% | 165 |
| #3 | Martin Burger King | 32% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᵈᵒⁿᵗ ᶜʳʸ ᵇᵃᵇʸ | 30 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | August | 24 | 0.0156 |
| #3 | Martin Burger King | 8 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | August | 367 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #2 | ᵈᵒⁿᵗ ᶜʳʸ ᵇᵃᵇʸ | 228 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | Martin Burger King | 25 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | August | +7.19 | 82 | 66 |
| #2 | ᵈᵒⁿᵗ ᶜʳʸ ᵇᵃᵇʸ | -0.09 | 45 | 40 |
| #3 | Tenetard | -0.49 | 18 | 64 |
| #4 | Martin Burger King | -1.26 | 35 | 16 |





