








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 841 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4613 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,978 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2207 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2713 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1396 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2662 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,014,286 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 197 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smilol🃏 | 88% | 24 |
| #2 | Hayden | 76% | 17 |
| #3 | unluckyplayer CS.MONEY | 74% | 93 |
| #4 | JustVibe | 74% | 114 |
| #5 | w1ng*P๑ | 65% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smilol🃏 | 9 | 0.0186 |
| #2 | unluckyplayer CS.MONEY | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | JustVibe | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Svet | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | w1ng*P๑ | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JustVibe | 384 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #2 | unluckyplayer CS.MONEY | 180 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | smilol🃏 | 121 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #4 | w1ng*P๑ | 102 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Svet | 91 | 0.13 | 2 min |





