








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 419 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 83 matches | ||
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3413 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,923 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2014 | 34% |
| Smokes | 910 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1449 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1550 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $812,680 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 313 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LOLYOUʕ•ᴥ•ʔ | 74% | 93 |
| #2 | JustVibe | 74% | 141 |
| #3 | Hayden | 70% | 37 |
| #4 | Hailee <3 | 70% | 30 |
| #5 | ballfunMEISTER | 69% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | JustVibe | 74% | 141 |
| #3 | Hayden | 70% | 37 |
| #4 | Hailee <3 | 70% | 30 |
| #5 | ballfunMEISTER | 69% | 32 |
| #6 | 今日も働きたくない | 60% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JustVibe | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | LOLYOUʕ•ᴥ•ʔ | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Hailee <3 | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JustVibe | 550 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #2 | LOLYOUʕ•ᴥ•ʔ | 233 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | ballfunMEISTER | 178 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #4 | Hayden | 150 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | Hailee <3 | 97 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LOLYOUʕ•ᴥ•ʔ | +4.92 | 94 | 66 |
| #2 | JustVibe | +4.31 | 90 | 68 |
| #3 | unluckyplayer CS.MONEY | +3.00 | 93 | 62 |
| #4 | Hayden | +1.13 | 95 | 56 |
| #5 | ballfunMEISTER | +0.74 | 82 | 69 |





