








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1685 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,114 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1150 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1337 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1180 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1447 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $310,464 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reckxes | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | covesto | 88% | 8 |
| #3 | Sno0w | 88% | 8 |
| #4 | fuck you | 75% | 8 |
| #5 | Desynix | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reckxes | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | covesto | 88% | 8 |
| #3 | Sno0w | 88% | 8 |
| #4 | fuck you | 75% | 8 |
| #5 | Desynix | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | covesto | 2 | 0.0141 |
| #2 | Reckxes | 1 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | covesto | 27 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #2 | Sno0w | 17 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #3 | Reckxes | 13 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | Desynix | 12 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | fuck you | 8 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sno0w | +5.92 | 82 | 58 |
| #2 | Z3RO | +2.28 | 73 | 69 |
| #3 | Reckxes | +2.06 | 77 | 58 |
| #4 | fuck you | +0.16 | 54 | 32 |
| #5 | Desynix | -1.02 | 44 | 33 |





