








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 461 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3177 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,986 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2416 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5179 | 47% |
| HE Grenades | 1055 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 2336 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $817,804 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 1317cjs | 57% | 335 |
| #5 | Captain Insano | 55% | 203 |
| #6 | fastfireguy1234 | 46% | 41 |
| #7 | Soniti | 44% | 34 |
| #8 | kingbabies09 | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1317cjs | 11 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Hirez | 11 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Captain Insano | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Soniti | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | fastfireguy1234 | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Captain Insano | 397 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | Hirez | 372 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | 1317cjs | 249 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #4 | Soniti | 108 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | SigmaRizz | 50 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SigmaRizz | +1.90 | 62 | 37 |
| #2 | subway shark | +1.31 | 45 | 47 |
| #3 | Captain Insano | +0.34 | 66 | 40 |
| #4 | 1317cjs | -0.02 | 51 | 27 |
| #5 | Soniti | -0.09 | 24 | 44 |





