










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
187 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 613 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 206 | 34% |
| Smokes | 140 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 150 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 117 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $53,733 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚽messi⚽Leyenda⚽ | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | B1gmann | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | Sneaky | 33% | 6 |
| #4 | ScreaMON | 25% | 4 |
| #5 | Storken (CM) | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚽messi⚽Leyenda⚽ | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | B1gmann | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | Sneaky | 33% | 6 |
| #4 | ScreaMON | 25% | 4 |
| #5 | Storken (CM) | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Storken (CM) | 2 | 0.0526 |
| #2 | Sneaky | 1 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | B1gmann | 1 | 0.0132 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sneaky | 22 | 0.21 | 0 min |
| #2 | ⚽messi⚽Leyenda⚽ | 14 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #3 | ScreaMON | 14 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #4 | Storken (CM) | 8 | 0.21 | 0 min |
| #5 | B1gmann | 6 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xbe | +4.62 | 41 | 59 |
| #2 | Sneaky | +1.74 | 85 | 62 |
| #3 | Storken (CM) | -0.20 | 82 | 48 |
| #4 | B1gmann | -0.98 | 50 | 60 |
| #5 | ScreaMON | -2.25 | 24 | 68 |





