








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 647 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2176 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,578 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2130 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1612 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1518 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1318 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,859,554 of utility $272 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 335 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sebastian Klein | 53% | 32 |
| #2 | Lokey1x on twitch | 51% | 157 |
| #3 | Zit0 | 50% | 100 |
| #4 | BONGZILLA | 48% | 67 |
| #5 | MarK tykhoved Løber | 46% | 122 |





