








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 599 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 173 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2200 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,310 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1275 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1214 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1366 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1455 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $853,895 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1021 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Car | 67% | 54 |
| #2 | Valby | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | ♿♿Valby♿♿ | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | ✪ someone | 49% | 92 |
| #5 | CYB | 39% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Car | 67% | 54 |
| #2 | Valby | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | ♿♿Valby♿♿ | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | ✪ someone | 49% | 92 |
| #5 | CYB | 39% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ someone | 25 | 0.0135 |
| #2 | Car | 19 | 0.0170 |
| #3 | ♿♿Valby♿♿ | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | CYB | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Valby | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ someone | 290 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | Car | 206 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | CYB | 46 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | ♿♿Valby♿♿ | 41 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Valby | 7 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Car | +4.98 | 80 | 57 |
| #2 | ♿♿Valby♿♿ | +2.88 | 64 | 58 |
| #3 | Revenge of the Crack Sparrow | +1.38 | 56 | 45 |
| #4 | ✪ someone | -1.51 | 47 | 62 |
| #5 | CYB | -2.16 | 48 | 32 |





