








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 912 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 589 matches | ||
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7720 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,215 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4270 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5962 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3878 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5105 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,521,539 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 961 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tugsu_ | 64% | 58 |
| #2 | Psycho* | 52% | 246 |
| #3 | mojuh | 51% | 141 |
| #4 | ABC | 50% | 46 |
| #5 | NEMSE /ᐠ=ᆽ=ᐟ \ | 49% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | NEMSE /ᐠ=ᆽ=ᐟ \ | 49% | 91 |
| #6 | aav taivshir | 49% | 51 |
| #7 | Thynkli | 49% | 94 |
| #8 | WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!!! | 45% | 60 |
| #9 | iimina | 42% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Psycho* | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | NEMSE /ᐠ=ᆽ=ᐟ \ | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | tugsu_ | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!!! | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Thynkli | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Psycho* | 641 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #2 | NEMSE /ᐠ=ᆽ=ᐟ \ | 433 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #3 | mojuh | 326 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!!! | 198 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | Thynkli | 195 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Psycho* | +2.20 | 82 | 72 |
| #2 | aav taivshir | +1.35 | 73 | 45 |
| #3 | NEMSE /ᐠ=ᆽ=ᐟ \ | +0.56 | 79 | 58 |
| #4 | mojuh | -0.03 | 69 | 57 |
| #5 | tugsu_ | -0.13 | 46 | 54 |





