








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1670 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,912 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 994 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1371 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1123 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 424 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $761,534 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | manQiq | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | Osve | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | eDyvus | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | Dora with 4 boots | 53% | 73 |
| #5 | Denas | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Dora with 4 boots | 53% | 73 |
| #5 | Denas | 52% | 25 |
| #6 | dynasz | 49% | 167 |
| #7 | FoodLover | 48% | 107 |
| #8 | Monkey | 46% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FoodLover | 13 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | dynasz | 12 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Denas | 4 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | Dora with 4 boots | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | manQiq | 2 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dynasz | 591 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #2 | Dora with 4 boots | 254 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | FoodLover | 172 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Monkey | 126 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Denas | 87 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dynasz | +2.63 | 72 | 68 |
| #2 | manQiq | +2.38 | 84 | 22 |
| #3 | LuKaSo么 | +1.37 | 64 | 54 |
| #4 | Osve | +1.20 | 77 | 62 |
| #5 | Dora with 4 boots | +0.43 | 79 | 66 |





