








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 77 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 228 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3315 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,532 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3482 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2894 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2511 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2645 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $595,734 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | manQiq | 57% | 37 |
| #2 | 𝘛𝘜𝘕𝘋𝘙𝘈 | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | Dora with 4 boots | 54% | 102 |
| #4 | Osve | 51% | 43 |
| #5 | LuKaSo么 | 49% | 167 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | LuKaSo么 | 49% | 167 |
| #6 | eDyvus | 48% | 58 |
| #7 | Denas | 46% | 41 |
| #8 | FoodLover | 46% | 164 |
| #9 | Monkey | 46% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FoodLover | 19 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | LuKaSo么 | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | eDyvus | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Denas | 5 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | Monkey | 4 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dora with 4 boots | 361 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | FoodLover | 263 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | Monkey | 235 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | LuKaSo么 | 191 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | eDyvus | 152 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | manQiq | +2.93 | 85 | 20 |
| #2 | dynasz | +2.33 | 72 | 65 |
| #3 | LuKaSo么 | +1.37 | 62 | 54 |
| #4 | Osve | +0.72 | 78 | 55 |
| #5 | Dora with 4 boots | +0.29 | 77 | 65 |





