








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1163 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,276 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 723 | 17% |
| Smokes | 961 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1489 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1103 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $197,190 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigGric | 63% | 81 |
| #2 | Cathxn | 60% | 55 |
| #3 | Ellemby | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | frongle | 42% | 24 |
| #5 | CATฅ(ミ⎚ﻌ⎚ミ)∫ | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigGric | 63% | 81 |
| #2 | Cathxn | 60% | 55 |
| #3 | Ellemby | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | frongle | 42% | 24 |
| #5 | CATฅ(ミ⎚ﻌ⎚ミ)∫ | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cathxn | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | BigGric | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | frongle | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigGric | 106 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #2 | Cathxn | 70 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ellemby | 54 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | CATฅ(ミ⎚ﻌ⎚ミ)∫ | 36 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | frongle | 14 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ellemby | +4.58 | 78 | 83 |
| #2 | BigGric | +2.63 | 44 | 68 |
| #3 | CATฅ(ミ⎚ﻌ⎚ミ)∫ | +1.64 | 68 | 70 |
| #4 | Cathxn | +0.46 | 57 | 44 |
| #5 | Robert | -1.10 | 52 | 58 |





