








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 372 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 93 matches | ||
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2045 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,719 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1021 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1195 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 540 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 963 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $755,857 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 226 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bl_ue | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | nacho | 53% | 34 |
| #3 | XdFredC | 43% | 46 |
| #4 | Zeuss0 | 36% | 39 |
| #5 | JX29 | 33% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bl_ue | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | nacho | 53% | 34 |
| #3 | XdFredC | 43% | 46 |
| #4 | Zeuss0 | 36% | 39 |
| #5 | JX29 | 33% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeuss0 | 169 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | JX29 | 93 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | XdFredC | 66 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | bl_ue | 65 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #5 | nacho | 46 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bl_ue | +2.97 | 92 | 73 |
| #2 | XdFredC | +0.94 | 55 | 53 |
| #3 | Danight | +0.81 | 81 | 39 |
| #4 | Zeuss0 | +0.14 | 67 | 71 |
| #5 | nacho | +0.13 | 80 | 47 |





