








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 19 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
195 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 519 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 117 | 23% |
| Smokes | 153 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 106 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 143 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $72,374 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Ksreh | 69% | 13 |
| #4 | Aqua | 67% | 15 |
| #5 | SlapChop | 60% | 5 |
| #6 | Doing It | 50% | 2 |
| #7 | siyni515 | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SlapChop | 1 | 0.0106 |
| #2 | Bobσ ³β§β§? ZlΓ‘tan | 1 | 0.0111 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bobσ ³β§β§? ZlΓ‘tan | +6.26 | 76 | 34 |
| #2 | siyni515 | +3.06 | 63 | 70 |
| #3 | Aqua | +1.85 | 78 | 64 |
| #4 | Sharoman | +0.78 | 67 | 35 |
| #5 | Ksreh | -0.74 | 47 | 40 |





