








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 172 matches | ||
| Faceit | 98 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3107 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,713 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1410 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1607 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1803 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1893 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $542,459 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SlapChop | 66% | 41 |
| #2 | Aqua | 61% | 101 |
| #3 | ZlΓ‘tan | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | Doing It | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SlapChop | 66% | 41 |
| #2 | Aqua | 61% | 101 |
| #3 | ZlΓ‘tan | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | Doing It | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aqua | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | ZlΓ‘tan | 3 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | SlapChop | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Doing It | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aqua | 281 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | SlapChop | 76 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | ZlΓ‘tan | 69 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Doing It | 28 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aqua | +1.91 | 87 | 67 |
| #2 | ZlΓ‘tan | +1.72 | 64 | 59 |
| #3 | πππππ | +0.75 | 64 | 43 |
| #4 | Doing It | -0.78 | 64 | 56 |
| #5 | SlapChop | -2.28 | 57 | 51 |





