








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 569 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




99 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3262 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,793 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3274 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2802 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1841 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1876 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $678,715 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 602 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twistzz | 73% | 37 |
| #2 | jamal | 70% | 71 |
| #3 | Hammer | 69% | 36 |
| #4 | 一棍P I N D | 69% | 16 |
| #5 | kakomaelk | 68% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Lokey1x on twitch | 67% | 24 |
| #7 | Sebastian Klein | 55% | 31 |
| #8 | ScreaMON | 50% | 100 |
| #9 | MarK tykhoved Løber | 35% | 17 |
| #10 | Oui | 34% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ScreaMON | 21 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | Oui | 19 | 0.0276 |
| #3 | Twistzz | 14 | 0.0189 |
| #4 | jamal | 13 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | Sebastian Klein | 11 | 0.0181 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jamal | 516 | 0.36 | 14 min |
| #2 | Twistzz | 226 | 0.30 | 7 min |
| #3 | ScreaMON | 166 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Hammer | 113 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | Oui | 69 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zit0 | +3.42 | 71 | 68 |
| #2 | Twistzz | +2.56 | 77 | 70 |
| #3 | Hammer | +2.13 | 76 | 81 |
| #4 | jamal | +2.06 | 76 | 74 |
| #5 | 一棍P I N D | +1.37 | 53 | 69 |





