








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 287 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2068 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,806 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1087 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1258 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1100 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1361 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $610,500 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | breesen | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Zezi | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | Mikiba | 59% | 46 |
| #4 | Damík | 58% | 79 |
| #5 | bBbBBBAXO | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡︎ Kejfixos on fajaaa | 8 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Damík | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | ♡M4rT1x♡ | 1 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | bBbBBBAXO | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Damík | 288 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | ⚡︎ Kejfixos on fajaaa | 283 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | Mikiba | 54 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Beaster #Cpt.Morgan | 43 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | breesen | 38 | 0.15 | 1 min |





