








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
113 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 473 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 131 | 28% |
| Smokes | 77 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 158 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 107 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $12,682 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gayus Marius | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | woman person | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | bench press enjoyer | 44% | 9 |
| #4 | SEXY big Momy | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gayus Marius | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | woman person | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | bench press enjoyer | 44% | 9 |
| #4 | SEXY big Momy | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gayus Marius | 1 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | SEXY big Momy | 1 | 1.0000 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bench press enjoyer | 17 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #2 | Gayus Marius | 14 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #3 | woman person | 2 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woman person | +7.28 | 55 | 77 |
| #2 | bench press enjoyer | +3.02 | 61 | 59 |
| #3 | Vengeance | -0.43 | 72 | 52 |
| #4 | Gayus Marius | -0.74 | 78 | 66 |
| #5 | SEXY big Momy | -2.27 | 39 | 47 |





