








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 660 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 349 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6341 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,515 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8409 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2456 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 6284 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5366 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,621,881 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1770 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smikky | 47% | 251 |
| #2 | bloop | 47% | 72 |
| #3 | MinX ^__^ | 44% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smikky | 47% | 251 |
| #2 | bloop | 47% | 72 |
| #3 | MinX ^__^ | 44% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smikky | 20 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | MinX ^__^ | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | bloop | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smikky | 512 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | MinX ^__^ | 394 | 0.29 | 11 min |
| #3 | bloop | 182 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smikky | +3.97 | 85 | 53 |
| #2 | Big hands Small mouse | +0.21 | 72 | 60 |
| #3 | bloop | -0.19 | 46 | 59 |
| #4 | MinX ^__^ | -0.92 | 58 | 76 |





