










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 190 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 91 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
979 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,454 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1572 | 35% |
| Smokes | 978 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 975 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 929 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $722,896 of utility $233 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaikki | 53% | 43 |
| #2 | Kevin Durak | 53% | 38 |
| #3 | vede | 52% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaikki | 53% | 43 |
| #2 | Kevin Durak | 53% | 38 |
| #3 | vede | 52% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vede | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vede | 187 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | Jaikki | 180 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #3 | Kevin Durak | 71 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vede | +2.13 | 70 | 72 |
| #2 | Kevin Durak | +1.80 | 72 | 65 |
| #3 | Jaikki | +0.00 | 71 | 66 |
| #4 | Votoslogos | -1.69 | 34 | 56 |





