








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 651 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 357 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




74 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6117 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,330 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3455 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3803 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1469 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1603 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,056,463 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3218 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙰𝚜𝚜𝚊𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚇 | 50% | 60 |
| #2 | venomous_phoenix | 48% | 99 |
| #3 | Dxrk | 33% | 60 |
| #4 | Ping | 33% | 81 |
| #5 | BlazeWarrior | 30% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | venomous_phoenix | 48% | 99 |
| #3 | Dxrk | 33% | 60 |
| #4 | Ping | 33% | 81 |
| #5 | BlazeWarrior | 30% | 73 |
| #6 | ArkTr00p3r_F1v35 | 30% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ping | 36 | 0.0245 |
| #2 | ArkTr00p3r_F1v35 | 18 | 0.0149 |
| #3 | venomous_phoenix | 10 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | 𝙰𝚜𝚜𝚊𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚇 | 7 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | Dxrk | 6 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ping | 579 | 0.39 | 9 min |
| #2 | venomous_phoenix | 494 | 0.25 | 12 min |
| #3 | 𝙰𝚜𝚜𝚊𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚇 | 375 | 0.31 | 8 min |
| #4 | BlazeWarrior | 102 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | ArkTr00p3r_F1v35 | 46 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙰𝚜𝚜𝚊𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚇 | +1.36 | 82 | 41 |
| #2 | Random_Mentality | +0.83 | 44 | 37 |
| #3 | venomous_phoenix | +0.44 | 46 | 66 |
| #4 | Dxrk | -1.83 | 30 | 32 |
| #5 | Ping | -2.79 | 20 | 45 |





