








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1383 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,379 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 381 | 16% |
| Smokes | 833 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 554 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 611 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $153,837 of utility $30 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 290 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dxrk | 38% | 140 |
| #2 | Random_Mentality | 30% | 64 |
| #3 | Ping | 30% | 27 |
| #4 | Impossimable | 29% | 24 |
| #5 | BlazeWarrior | 28% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dxrk | 38% | 140 |
| #2 | Random_Mentality | 30% | 64 |
| #3 | Ping | 30% | 27 |
| #4 | Impossimable | 29% | 24 |
| #5 | BlazeWarrior | 28% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ping | 20 | 0.0425 |
| #2 | Dxrk | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Random_Mentality | 8 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | BlazeWarrior | 6 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ping | 197 | 0.42 | 3 min |
| #2 | BlazeWarrior | 118 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Random_Mentality | 90 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Dxrk | 56 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Impossimable | 32 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Impossimable | +5.20 | 46 | 48 |
| #2 | Random_Mentality | +0.72 | 37 | 34 |
| #3 | Dxrk | -0.97 | 32 | 35 |
| #4 | Ping | -2.47 | 17 | 48 |
| #5 | BlazeWarrior | -2.52 | 29 | 34 |





