










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
230 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 927 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 261 | 28% |
| Smokes | 293 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 199 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 174 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $205,974 of utility $296 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 229 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leksa | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | ∀ןɯıs | 54% | 28 |
| #3 | sYNqi | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | joNc | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | minsku | 0% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leksa | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | ∀ןɯıs | 54% | 28 |
| #3 | sYNqi | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | joNc | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | minsku | 0% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sYNqi | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | joNc | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | minsku | 1 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sYNqi | 86 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #2 | joNc | 75 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #3 | ∀ןɯıs | 70 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | minsku | 38 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #5 | Leksa | 13 | 0.25 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leksa | +6.59 | 71 | 80 |
| #2 | sYNqi | +4.05 | 64 | 54 |
| #3 | joNc | +2.19 | 68 | 62 |
| #4 | Toope | 523i | -0.75 | 39 | 50 |
| #5 | minsku | -4.39 | 31 | 58 |





