








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2439 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,129 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2334 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2002 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2642 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2151 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $599,596 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Siiderivalas | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | ✪ Haydens | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | elo | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | kujala | 53% | 34 |
| #5 | utii | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | juppe:D | 50% | 18 |
| #7 | Luurangsman | 49% | 79 |
| #8 | hoitelija | 46% | 13 |
| #9 | flow boss | 44% | 100 |
| #10 | flow boss | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luurangsman | 11 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | flow boss | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | ✪ Haydens | 4 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | Siiderivalas | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | kujala | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flow boss | 231 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | elo | 91 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | Luurangsman | 68 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | hoitelija | 67 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #5 | utii | 28 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juppe:D | +3.47 | 86 | 59 |
| #2 | elo | +2.44 | 83 | 51 |
| #3 | flow boss | +2.38 | 84 | 55 |
| #4 | kujala | +1.85 | 79 | 55 |
| #5 | Jare_88 | +0.48 | 50 | 64 |





