










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1207 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 640 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8605 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,650 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11522 | 40% |
| Smokes | 6885 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6400 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3843 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,611,081 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6513 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Señor Vac | 56% | 52 |
| #2 | ☭Kaimiņu Jurčiks☭ | 51% | 426 |
| #3 | MOLLYSSS | 50% | 40 |
| #4 | ☭ ∩ (◣_◢) ∩ ☭ | 50% | 529 |
| #5 | Freddy | 49% | 170 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeadHunter:* | +3.09 | 78 | 76 |
| #2 | Señor Vac | +1.97 | 69 | 66 |
| #3 | RikiTan | +1.70 | 75 | 72 |
| #4 | P. Diddy | +1.34 | 51 | 39 |
| #5 | Pensionars | +0.33 | 64 | 37 |





