








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
490 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,328 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 154 | 12% |
| Smokes | 266 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 442 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 466 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $483,079 of utility $262 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NerfHurter | 44% | 50 |
| #2 | Spice and Lamb | 44% | 64 |
| #3 | Grayhood114 | 42% | 19 |
| #4 | coolius | 40% | 40 |
| #5 | Swag Demon | 35% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Spice and Lamb | 44% | 64 |
| #3 | Grayhood114 | 42% | 19 |
| #4 | coolius | 40% | 40 |
| #5 | Swag Demon | 35% | 48 |
| #6 | Duck Daddy Jr | 0% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NerfHurter | 12 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | Spice and Lamb | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Grayhood114 | 6 | 0.0150 |
| #4 | Swag Demon | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | coolius | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swag Demon | 228 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #2 | NerfHurter | 212 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | Spice and Lamb | 115 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | coolius | 107 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Grayhood114 | 97 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NerfHurter | +3.35 | 59 | 61 |
| #2 | Swag Demon | +3.26 | 70 | 78 |
| #3 | coolius | +1.65 | 78 | 57 |
| #4 | Spice and Lamb | -0.97 | 36 | 60 |
| #5 | Grayhood114 | -2.00 | 26 | 47 |





