








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 534 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 491 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4392 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,652 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2471 | 15% |
| Smokes | 4928 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5624 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 3629 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,941,583 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 293 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LoTeK | 47% | 186 |
| #2 | Girth_Bro0ks | 44% | 122 |
| #3 | The Business | 44% | 32 |
| #4 | LV 100 Nigward | 43% | 115 |
| #5 | Doing Acid | 43% | 209 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LV 100 Nigward | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Girth_Bro0ks | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Doing Acid | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | LoTeK | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | The Business | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doing Acid | 481 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #2 | LoTeK | 219 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #3 | Girth_Bro0ks | 185 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | LV 100 Nigward | 143 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | The Business | 62 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pickle | +1.13 | 68 | 66 |
| #2 | Forgiven✞ | +0.52 | 47 | 67 |
| #3 | Girth_Bro0ks | +0.34 | 46 | 53 |
| #4 | Doing Acid | -0.38 | 43 | 69 |
| #5 | The Business | -0.70 | 45 | 66 |





