








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 160 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 83 matches | ||
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1510 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,638 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1791 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1440 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 297 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 1110 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $337,840 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kong | 9 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | i was using tilt control | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | LemOn7 | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Ohio | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | 笹木 咲 | 3 | 0.0025 |





