








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2268 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,619 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2156 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1814 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2079 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1570 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $506,819 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FrFlajS | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | Buba4220🖤 | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | ♚smolo♚ | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | dont cry nightmare | 51% | 127 |
| #5 | Vlado Vlak | 50% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ dŽralek | 11 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | dont cry nightmare | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | ♚smolo♚ | 4 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | Vlado Vlak | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Frogzy | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dont cry nightmare | 202 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | Frogzy | 165 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | FrFlajS | 71 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | ♚smolo♚ | 62 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Vlado Vlak | 59 | 0.04 | 1 min |





