








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
503 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,425 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 267 | 19% |
| Smokes | 339 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 419 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 400 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $123,773 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andreas | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | LeifIsStrange | 4 | 0.0426 |
| #3 | juicy | 3 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | JANOOS | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | sprite spankberry | 2 | 0.0159 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪nAIZzz | 101 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | Andreas | 94 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | JANOOS | 82 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | juicy | 42 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | IMOJO | 15 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | it's pp time | +6.69 | 76 | 72 |
| #2 | !hairypoetry | +2.69 | 96 | 29 |
| #3 | NotBen | +1.96 | 87 | 46 |
| #4 | HaGii | +1.58 | 90 | 54 |
| #5 | IMOJO | +1.37 | 87 | 53 |





