








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 499 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 268 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3212 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,723 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1943 | 34% |
| Smokes | 462 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 1744 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1574 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $829,324 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 478 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stumborg (The MilkMan) | 746 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #2 | HopelessChad | 174 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | Token | 93 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #4 | Savage | 78 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | barlarkay1 | 24 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Token | +4.35 | 76 | 35 |
| #2 | Freedompals | +0.06 | 60 | 45 |
| #3 | HopelessChad | -0.50 | 49 | 49 |
| #4 | stumborg (The MilkMan) | -0.57 | 56 | 44 |
| #5 | Savage | -3.15 | 28 | 48 |





