








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 118 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
950 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,900 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 425 | 15% |
| Smokes | 892 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 466 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1117 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $289,765 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kempo | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | | Fl0w | 53% | 38 |
| #3 | SpungBob | 53% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kempo | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | | Fl0w | 53% | 38 |
| #3 | SpungBob | 53% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpungBob | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | | Fl0w | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpungBob | 582 | 0.26 | 12 min |
| #2 | | Fl0w | 223 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #3 | Kempo | 38 | 0.23 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JEZZAMANEZZA | +1.68 | 62 | 44 |
| #2 | | Fl0w | +1.33 | 65 | 63 |
| #3 | SpungBob | +0.46 | 66 | 59 |
| #4 | Kempo | -1.91 | 54 | 46 |





