








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 336 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3716 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,335 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3056 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2596 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1489 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2194 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $604,381 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bran | 65% | 48 |
| #2 | Legacy | 62% | 34 |
| #3 | Rize | 62% | 26 |
| #4 | Nick | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | ghettobird | 56% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | bam | 53% | 30 |
| #9 | Upstart | 52% | 61 |
| #10 | W | 51% | 47 |
| #11 | zim | 50% | 56 |
| #12 | cronchy | 48% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ghettobird | 26 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | bran | 13 | 0.0131 |
| #3 | W | 13 | 0.0135 |
| #4 | cronchy | 6 | 0.0092 |
| #5 | tsz | 6 | 0.0177 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ghettobird | 595 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #2 | W | 199 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | bran | 185 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | zim | 164 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | Upstart | 130 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IJustClick | +3.45 | 84 | 60 |
| #2 | bam | +1.16 | 83 | 54 |
| #3 | W | +0.55 | 61 | 50 |
| #4 | Upstart | +0.53 | 84 | 43 |
| #5 | ghettobird | +0.37 | 81 | 64 |





