








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 329 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2589 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,134 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1799 | 15% |
| Smokes | 4106 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3650 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2579 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $883,035 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 743 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Anon | 52% | 31 |
| #8 | Civi | 51% | 184 |
| #9 | Ãrthur | 46% | 41 |
| #10 | joona | 42% | 26 |
| #11 | FneXie | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pahamiel | 25 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | Civi | 20 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | SaKNeS♥ | 11 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Anon | 10 | 0.0162 |
| #5 | Roziee | 4 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Civi | 710 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #2 | Pahamiel | 488 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #3 | SaKNeS♥ | 390 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #4 | Roziee | 249 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | Ãrthur | 232 | 0.27 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ãrthur | +2.52 | 88 | 81 |
| #2 | FneXie | +1.23 | 72 | 67 |
| #3 | Pahamiel | +1.17 | 70 | 70 |
| #4 | SaKNeS♥ | +0.97 | 73 | 64 |
| #5 | Aape | +0.85 | 43 | 64 |





