








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 124 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2218 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,018 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1818 | 45% |
| Smokes | 1136 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 965 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 99 | 2% |
Our logs show you have wasted $376,112 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shaw_Man | 53% | 30 |
| #2 | Cpt Price | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | ℕ𝕋✪𝕏 | 51% | 89 |
| #4 | Zapali | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | H1ghЯangΞ | 49% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H1ghЯangΞ | 24 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | キング BlckBrn | 19 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | ℕ𝕋✪𝕏 | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Shaw_Man | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Don_Zap | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | キング BlckBrn | 508 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #2 | H1ghЯangΞ | 470 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #3 | ℕ𝕋✪𝕏 | 147 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Don_Zap | 102 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Gtr0n | 41 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H1ghЯangΞ | +3.16 | 65 | 73 |
| #2 | Cpt Price | +2.71 | 67 | 52 |
| #3 | HUMBLE | +2.69 | 80 | 56 |
| #4 | ℕ𝕋✪𝕏 | +0.59 | 68 | 51 |
| #5 | Gtr0n | -0.47 | 75 | 47 |





