








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 282 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2129 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,550 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2004 | 36% |
| Smokes | 968 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1079 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1499 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $309,256 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 320 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nogi17² | 47% | 15 |
| #2 | Yannis | 42% | 107 |
| #3 | YataK | 35% | 62 |
| #4 | BB_Amnésis | 33% | 9 |
| #5 | Zebi is a meme | 22% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YataK | 11 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | Yannis | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Zebi is a meme | 5 | 0.0129 |
| #4 | Nogi17² | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yannis | 273 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | YataK | 156 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Nogi17² | 58 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | BB_Amnésis | 17 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | Zebi is a meme | 16 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soony | +2.50 | 74 | 65 |
| #2 | YataK | -0.48 | 75 | 68 |
| #3 | Yannis | -1.41 | 64 | 68 |
| #4 | Nogi17² | -2.56 | 48 | 58 |
| #5 | Zebi is a meme | -3.14 | 56 | 35 |





