








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 332 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




76 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3223 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,282 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2694 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1989 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2387 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1212 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $602,088 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BB_Amnésis | 49% | 45 |
| #2 | YataK | 48% | 235 |
| #3 | Yannis | 46% | 149 |
| #4 | Zebi is a meme | 45% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BB_Amnésis | 49% | 45 |
| #2 | YataK | 48% | 235 |
| #3 | Yannis | 46% | 149 |
| #4 | Zebi is a meme | 45% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YataK | 78 | 0.0167 |
| #2 | Yannis | 40 | 0.0134 |
| #3 | Zebi is a meme | 20 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | BB_Amnésis | 9 | 0.0112 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YataK | 849 | 0.18 | 21 min |
| #2 | Yannis | 497 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | Zebi is a meme | 124 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | BB_Amnésis | 65 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YataK | +1.66 | 75 | 62 |
| #2 | Nogi17² | +0.30 | 52 | 54 |
| #3 | Yannis | -0.19 | 50 | 61 |
| #4 | Zebi is a meme | -0.48 | 52 | 29 |
| #5 | BB_Amnésis | -4.00 | 23 | 26 |





