










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
58 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 83 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 43 | 52% |
| Smokes | 15 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 23 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2 | 2% |
Our logs show you have wasted $31,919 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ED-E | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | DariYeen | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | Stella | 44% | 9 |
| #4 | FoxSteak | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | beatched | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ED-E | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | DariYeen | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | Stella | 44% | 9 |
| #4 | FoxSteak | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | beatched | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DariYeen | 5 | 0.0407 |
| #2 | beatched | 3 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | FoxSteak | 3 | 0.0120 |
| #4 | Stella | 3 | 0.0181 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beatched | 41 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | Stella | 21 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | DariYeen | 20 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #4 | FoxSteak | 12 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DariYeen | +6.35 | 71 | 47 |
| #2 | FoxSteak | +3.37 | 38 | 34 |
| #3 | Stella | +1.87 | 66 | 52 |
| #4 | beatched | +0.47 | 23 | 47 |
| #5 | ED-E | -1.66 | 16 | 6 |





