








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 193 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
765 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,948 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 639 | 33% |
| Smokes | 432 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 530 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 347 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $203,554 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anatoly | 50% | 6 |
| #2 | Crush Nine | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | Sandraker | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | Singularity | 40% | 5 |
| #5 | Skills? | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | capybara | 6 | 0.0160 |
| #2 | axeLs | 5 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Adnane | 3 | 0.0099 |
| #4 | Anatoly | 2 | 0.0345 |
| #5 | Singularity | 2 | 0.0541 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | axeLs | 179 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| #2 | capybara | 100 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #3 | Monday | 52 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | Excessum | 47 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Adnane | 41 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | capybara | +1.96 | 60 | 61 |
| #2 | Sandraker | +1.56 | 63 | 61 |
| #3 | Monday | +1.35 | 85 | 72 |
| #4 | Anatoly | +1.08 | 71 | 52 |
| #5 | Crush Nine | +0.64 | 75 | 59 |





