








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 622 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 176 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4589 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,193 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7046 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6061 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6577 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4509 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $749,916 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 110 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smeagol | 66% | 64 |
| #2 | Rxn | 53% | 36 |
| #3 | KieranMarko | 50% | 458 |
| #4 | xStumpp | 44% | 166 |
| #5 | Théoden | 43% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KieranMarko | 55 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Théoden | 26 | 0.0266 |
| #3 | xStumpp | 16 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Smeagol | 11 | 0.0096 |
| #5 | Rxn | 8 | 0.0108 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KieranMarko | 1604 | 0.18 | 37 min |
| #2 | Smeagol | 213 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Théoden | 196 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | xStumpp | 190 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | Speedoskutt | 98 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smeagol | +7.68 | 75 | 64 |
| #2 | Théoden | +4.39 | 73 | 63 |
| #3 | R G N | +2.57 | 62 | 72 |
| #4 | Speedoskutt | +1.50 | 63 | 65 |
| #5 | Rxn | -0.60 | 60 | 42 |





