








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 563 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 370 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 87 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5280 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,647 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3321 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3625 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2835 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2866 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,033,671 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goober | 50% | 402 |
| #2 | Wagyu | 48% | 328 |
| #3 | Fehj | 47% | 308 |
| #4 | kairos. | 47% | 186 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goober | 50% | 402 |
| #2 | Wagyu | 48% | 328 |
| #3 | Fehj | 47% | 308 |
| #4 | kairos. | 47% | 186 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wagyu | 37 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Goober | 29 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Fehj | 27 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | kairos. | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fehj | 1148 | 0.18 | 24 min |
| #2 | Goober | 986 | 0.12 | 26 min |
| #3 | Wagyu | 504 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #4 | kairos. | 256 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goober | +1.99 | 70 | 51 |
| #2 | Fehj | +1.29 | 64 | 53 |
| #3 | finhacka | -0.30 | 55 | 37 |
| #4 | Wagyu | -0.75 | 56 | 32 |
| #5 | kairos. | -0.76 | 50 | 47 |





