








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




112 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1611 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,154 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 899 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1735 | 55% |
| HE Grenades | 289 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 231 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $348,456 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 475 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alice-Lit | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | YIFFPEEK mooncat | 48% | 188 |
| #3 | Master Bought Dobby a Glock | 48% | 56 |
| #4 | Coby | 44% | 110 |
| #5 | John F. Pennedy | 43% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | YIFFPEEK mooncat | 48% | 188 |
| #3 | Master Bought Dobby a Glock | 48% | 56 |
| #4 | Coby | 44% | 110 |
| #5 | John F. Pennedy | 43% | 114 |
| #6 | boycunt pounder | 33% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YIFFPEEK mooncat | 88 | 0.0244 |
| #2 | John F. Pennedy | 48 | 0.0217 |
| #3 | Coby | 48 | 0.0229 |
| #4 | Master Bought Dobby a Glock | 29 | 0.0280 |
| #5 | boycunt pounder | 29 | 0.0492 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YIFFPEEK mooncat | 173 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #2 | Master Bought Dobby a Glock | 77 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | John F. Pennedy | 65 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Coby | 51 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | boycunt pounder | 9 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YIFFPEEK mooncat | +3.52 | 71 | 49 |
| #2 | Alice-Lit | +2.49 | 61 | 10 |
| #3 | Coby | +1.82 | 72 | 37 |
| #4 | boycunt pounder | +0.56 | 48 | 17 |
| #5 | John F. Pennedy | -0.73 | 50 | 28 |





