








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1204 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 742 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 99 | 13% |
| Smokes | 214 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 185 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 244 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $94,163 of utility $34 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coby | 63% | 38 |
| #2 | parkerpark | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Master Bought Dobby a Glock | 60% | 141 |
| #4 | ankle | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | YIFFPEEK mooncat | 59% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | parkerpark | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Master Bought Dobby a Glock | 60% | 141 |
| #4 | ankle | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | YIFFPEEK mooncat | 59% | 124 |
| #6 | John F. Pennedy | 51% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Master Bought Dobby a Glock | 62 | 0.0253 |
| #2 | YIFFPEEK mooncat | 60 | 0.0274 |
| #3 | Coby | 13 | 0.0231 |
| #4 | John F. Pennedy | 11 | 0.0189 |
| #5 | ankle | 5 | 0.0126 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Master Bought Dobby a Glock | 212 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | YIFFPEEK mooncat | 110 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | ankle | 33 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Coby | 17 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | John F. Pennedy | 12 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YIFFPEEK mooncat | +3.78 | 72 | 45 |
| #2 | Coby | +2.29 | 72 | 36 |
| #3 | Alice-Lit | +2.19 | 63 | 20 |
| #4 | parkerpark | -0.46 | 26 | 7 |
| #5 | Master Bought Dobby a Glock | -1.01 | 24 | 14 |





