








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
532 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,498 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 453 | 30% |
| Smokes | 371 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 308 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 366 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $100,006 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alfi | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | zjams | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | Gubb1 | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | bjrN | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alfi | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | zjams | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | Gubb1 | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | bjrN | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alfi | 3 | 0.0242 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gubb1 | 109 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #2 | Alfi | 18 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #3 | zjams | 16 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | bjrN | 11 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gubb1 | +1.37 | 74 | 61 |
| #2 | Alfi | +1.26 | 71 | 48 |
| #3 | nobodyy | +0.80 | 82 | 56 |
| #4 | zjams | +0.35 | 69 | 65 |
| #5 | bjrN | +0.20 | 86 | 72 |





