










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 95 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1827 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,322 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1802 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1947 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1920 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1653 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $292,758 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gubb1 | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | Vertigo Enjoyer | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | Fjamz | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | Fennzi | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gubb1 | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | Vertigo Enjoyer | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | Fjamz | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | Fennzi | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vertigo Enjoyer | 5 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Fjamz | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vertigo Enjoyer | 135 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #2 | Fjamz | 68 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Fennzi | 66 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | Gubb1 | 44 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gubb1 | +1.09 | 75 | 62 |
| #2 | zjams | +0.78 | 67 | 59 |
| #3 | Vertigo Enjoyer | +0.44 | 57 | 72 |
| #4 | Fjamz | -0.30 | 71 | 58 |
| #5 | Fennzi | -0.37 | 76 | 58 |





