










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 186 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
825 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,476 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 431 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1400 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 1061 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 584 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $888,743 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fräulein Stein | 48% | 23 |
| #2 | HELIKOPTER HELIKOPTER | 47% | 102 |
| #3 | MrTroble | 44% | 41 |
| #4 | StyloG | 43% | 65 |
| #5 | Pixion | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fräulein Stein | 48% | 23 |
| #2 | HELIKOPTER HELIKOPTER | 47% | 102 |
| #3 | MrTroble | 44% | 41 |
| #4 | StyloG | 43% | 65 |
| #5 | Pixion | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HELIKOPTER HELIKOPTER | 10 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | StyloG | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Fräulein Stein | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Pixion | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HELIKOPTER HELIKOPTER | 266 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | MrTroble | 90 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Fräulein Stein | 70 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | StyloG | 30 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Pixion | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HELIKOPTER HELIKOPTER | +5.70 | 59 | 72 |
| #2 | MrTroble | +3.83 | 59 | 58 |
| #3 | Fräulein Stein | +1.64 | 38 | 69 |
| #4 | StyloG | +0.05 | 69 | 33 |
| #5 | Pixion | -3.73 | 39 | 17 |





