








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 229 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 88 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
613 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,565 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 609 | 24% |
| Smokes | 614 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 750 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 592 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $412,829 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☭ Fat afonso ☭ | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | p10x | 42% | 12 |
| #3 | Stafakikus | 35% | 31 |
| #4 | zenocc | 35% | 143 |
| #5 | Chappie_ | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☭ Fat afonso ☭ | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | p10x | 42% | 12 |
| #3 | Stafakikus | 35% | 31 |
| #4 | zenocc | 35% | 143 |
| #5 | Chappie_ | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stafakikus | 4 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | zenocc | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Chappie_ | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stafakikus | 78 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | zenocc | 66 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | ☭ Fat afonso ☭ | 27 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Chappie_ | 18 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | p10x | 10 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☭ Fat afonso ☭ | +3.04 | 79 | 47 |
| #2 | Stafakikus | +2.89 | 82 | 62 |
| #3 | p10x | +1.61 | 61 | 46 |
| #4 | Chappie_ | +1.38 | 63 | 54 |
| #5 | zenocc | +0.92 | 66 | 39 |





