








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 750 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4173 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,327 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1954 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1818 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1760 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1795 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,231,445 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 961 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kurele | 56% | 118 |
| #2 | IDM | 54% | 35 |
| #3 | nik | 53% | 161 |
| #4 | X/ | 47% | 83 |
| #5 | ✪Paul Abdi | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kurele | 56% | 118 |
| #2 | IDM | 54% | 35 |
| #3 | nik | 53% | 161 |
| #4 | X/ | 47% | 83 |
| #5 | ✪Paul Abdi | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nik | 27 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | Kurele | 27 | 0.0111 |
| #3 | X/ | 22 | 0.0133 |
| #4 | IDM | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | ✪Paul Abdi | 2 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nik | 986 | 0.30 | 26 min |
| #2 | Kurele | 233 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | X/ | 213 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | ✪Paul Abdi | 23 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | IDM | 17 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cagen | +2.51 | 90 | 51 |
| #2 | X/ | +1.39 | 83 | 50 |
| #3 | nik | +0.56 | 66 | 70 |
| #4 | IDM | +0.46 | 80 | 37 |
| #5 | Kurele | -1.43 | 54 | 59 |





